How the heck did a full time working Mom wind up being a homeschooling SAHM? Part 2-Live or Die

Some people say if they didn't have bad luck they'd have no luck at all....

I think that's a load of crap. I'm more of an everything happens for a reason type person. As you've probably figured by now the rabies test came back positive. I had been bitten by a rabid cat. And just to make it a little more interesting 3 days had gone by between the time of the bite and when we found out.

I get my hiney over to the hospital to start the rabies vaccine series. The doctor was pissed. Why did I wait three days? Do I know that once symptoms start you're dead? You should have come over right after you were bitten. Okay already! So what should I be looking for? Numbness and/or tingling at the bite site is one of the early signs. The problem with that symptom was I had that before I was bitten. Years of typing while entering emergency calls for dispatch had left me with a well established case of carpel tunnel syndrome. They said it would travel up my arm if it was rabies. So how long until I know for sure if I didn't start the shots in time. Ten days. So in ten days I'll know. Live or die. I spent a lot of time thinking about those three little words; live or die.

One of my only true fears is dying before my children are grown. Now I was facing that head on. The question was, had I given them everything I could while I had the chance? I didn't like the answer. Ten longs days and ten sleepless nights. Did I have regrets? Would I get a second chance?

Up until that time I was pretty darn pleased with the way things were going in my life. I honestly believed that if I died I would have no regrets. So why when that became a real possibility did all my answers change. Did I just not know better or was it denial of my true feelings? To this day I'm not really sure.

So ask yourself. If you died tomorrow, what would you regret? What didn't you do? I know some people who are making up lists of things they want to do before they die. I think it's kinda neat and might just do it myself. But a much more interesting list would be what do I need to change in my life right now so that I would have no regrets dying tomorrow. The lists may overlap in places but my goal would be to have nothing on the regrets list and something always on the to do list.

I'm still here. The shots were not fun but not as bad as I'd heard they would be. I was grateful they were available. The worst part was getting lectured by the doctors everytime I had to go to the ER to get the next in the series.

To this day I don't know why I went to work everyday during those ten days. I guess there was still a chunk of denial in the way. I certainly would not regret missing work if I was going to die. So why would I waste what little time I had left there. But I didn't ask those questions right away. In fact, it was almost 18 months later before I did.

That time I paid attention.....