One Year Later ( well almost )

I can't believe it's been almost a year since I've posted.

Last night I couldn't sleep. What used to be a normal occurrence, rarely occurs today. So since I did most of my writing late at night, while the world slumbered around me, it stands to reason that not much happens in my blogger world anymore.

But last night sleep eluded me. So much has happened in my world in the last year. So many changes, none of them recorded for posterity (probably a good thing in some cases). But last night I read back over some of my older posts and enjoyed some fond memories. I started thinking about how much pleasure I got out of this time sucker blog. Inflicting my random thoughts and irritations on my faithful readers, sharing some good times and some not so good.

Blogging about why I'm not blogging is stupid and a waste of everyones time so I'm moving on.

Here's just a quick update in the cast of characters who live in my world (man that sounds arrogant).

Rusty's Mom: Still a homeschooling mom, dog loving, EMT, vet tech. 110 lbs lighter food addict, recovering alcoholic (yeah, you read that right). It took me decades to admit it, but I've given up the fight. My addictions don't define me anymore, but I'm still trying to figure out who the real Rusty's Mom is, my journey continues.

The Engineer: Still the same old Type A, perfectionist. Without food to hide behind, some of his quirks irritate the hell out of me now, but hey, like I said it's all a journey.

The Scientist: Still scary smart. 13 years old and is studying for her college entrance exams. But still the consummate teenager. Oh boy, what blog fodder she has been.

The Vet: Social butterfly. Walks around all day with a cell phone in her hand, texting. Does anyone under the age of 21 actually talk on a phone?

Baseball Boy: Finally decided that learning to read might not be such a bad idea after all. Once he put his mind to it, wow Mom that was easy, what was all the fuss about. He hasn't played baseball in a few years but wants to again this spring. But he still loves the game so his name remains the same.

Mickey/Malka: A little older, a little wiser but still curled up sleeping next to each other on the couch.

Daisy: Hasn't cost me anymore large sums of money but it's only a matter of time since she decided that she wanted to be an indoor/outdoor cat. Makes me nervous every time she slips out the door.

Additional cast of characters: Chickens, snakes, fish and a bunny.

I don't have time for this, but it sure was fun. Figures.

Happy Mother's Day-Not

Mother's Day is a tough one for me. My Mom was a tough one to please on Mother's Day, let's just leave it at that. Now she's been gone for several years and I miss her. I still work every year on Mother's Day as an act of avoidance. It doesn't matter anymore but I still grab that shift every time.

The kids have learned that doing more than making me a card and giving me a hug just stresses me out. It's amazing how no matter how much I try to do the opposite I wind up being the same. She wanted things her way; ex. an unattainable ass kissing: And I want things my way; ex. minimalist all the way.

I am comfortable with the way Mother's Day is celebrated around here. While I'm at work (enjoying turning over the responsibilities of parenthood for 14 hours) they make me cards and usually clean up. When I get in I get giant hugs and "Happy Mother's Day's. Dinner is already made, not a big deal, just a simple dinner, we eat together and talk about our day.

For me many of the holidays are ways we should be living our life. Respecting our parents, grandparents, the earth, appreciating our veterans and employees. Don't wait until Arbor Day to plant a tree. Fly your American Flag every day, not just Flag Day and the 4th of July. Unless a holiday celebrates a specific event I'm inclined to ignore it on that day and try to live it everyday.

So instead of kissing my butt on one day and being completely disrespectful for the rest of the year let's make an effort everyday to be kind and respectful to the people around you and the earth we live on. This is my hope for Mother's Day.

People Suck?

Years of working in emergency services have left me jaded and cynical. Or maybe I'm just not very forgiving. Could be I've been let down one to many times by people who I thought I should be able to depend on. Probably all of the above and some other things I can't think of right now.

I've had to deal with leaches, stupidity and self centered bigoted pigs through the course of my career. Family members who hurt you and friends who were really only interested in what they would get from the friendship. Through my work at the vet's office and my interest in dog rescue I have seen some pretty horrible offenses brought upon man's best friend.

I've learned to peel those people from my daily life. I no longer allow them to affect my day to day living. I think it's one of the reasons why I feel so close with my dogs. They accept me for who I am. They forgive me for my shortcomings. Really forgive, not say they forgive then toss it back at me at a later date. I look at them and their shoddy beginnings and say if they can shake it off and look ahead then so shall I.

I can't avoid these types of people through my day to day job. After all, I'm paid to help them no matter how ridiculously stupid their request or how big of a sponge on the community as a whole they are. It's hard to remember that not all people are like that.

I have a few close friendships that I cherish. I have a few close family members that I know will be there for me and I for them. I've tended to take a pretty negative look at the rest of the world. I try not to but I'm not very successful.

I hear ya, "okay, okay, so what's the point?"

Today I went to my second OA meeting. When I looked around the room I saw people who I would consider to be from all walks. But when they talked they all have the same core issues. And every one of them was courteous, listened and encouraging to those around them. I have no idea what these people are like outside but in that room they all wanted what was best for everyone there and a little help for themselves. During that period of time nobody sucked.

Open Mouth Insert Foot....

You know I never know when to shut up. Along with the malfunctioning filter that runs between my brain and my mouth, I often get myself in trouble. Okay, trouble might be too strong of a word, but I can definitely annoy some people.

Two things today showed that there have been no improvements for me in these areas. First, today was our monthly Afternoon with the Arts. It's a home school thing we do where the kids get to each show off something they did or can do. Like artwork, poetry and playing a musical instrument. They have to do it in front of an audience. Then afterward we have high tea for the kids, with finger food, and do a quick etiquette lesson. You know the whole shebang, cloth napkins, real china tea cups, place cards and practicing making small talk. Okay, I know, I know, I digressed. Eventually you'll get used to it. So anyway, who shows up today but the Girl Scout Leader who I previously had issue with. She has been avoiding me since our little to-do. I walk in the door and she's standing right there. She looks like a deer trapped in a snare, she wants to run but can't without being a total ass. So instead of saying a quick hi and letting her escape I make small talk. Forcing her to stay and talk to me for a few moments. It is probably the worst 3 minutes of her day and I thoroughly enjoyed it. After I let her go she was very careful to avoid me the rest of the afternoon. I knew I accomplished what I set out to do. Oh, the small things that bring me joy.

The other thing didn't bring me joy, in fact it bummed me out. I'm not sure what to do with this one. While on the road today we called IT Guy to wish him a happy birthday. After the traditional singing of Happy Birthday on speaker phone by the kids I take the phone. During the conversation I apologize for backing out of having him and his family over for our Passover Seder that I canceled due to an unexpected marathon shift at work. He said no problem and then tells me he doesn't even think we need to invite him over for it since they don't understand or contribute to the seder and they are not raising their kids Jewish. I let him know that he's stuck doing these things since he's the only local family I have. We have cousins out of state who sometimes make it but they can't always. Besides the whole reason for the seder is to tell the story and to learn. Every time I go to or have a seder I learn something new. So he agrees and sees my point. But could I stop there, no I couldn't. I had to open my mouth and continue on. I said I wanted them to be familiar with our traditions, especially his kids so they would understand their cousins religion. Especially since we are practicing Jews. It's hard enough when strangers have no clue about your religion or traditions but to have family members in the same boat is somehow worse. I could hear it in his voice. His discomfort level went up a couple of notches. Even though I have assured him numerous times that how he raises his kids is their decision and not a concern of mine I still get the feeling that he is not comfortable even talking about their choices. I know it's a sensitive issue for him so why don't I quit while I'm ahead. I don't know, maybe it's leftover Jewish Mother Guilt or something but I wish I could get it through his head that I just want them to join us and be a part of it because it's important to my family and we want them to share it with us and nothing more.

Two sides of the same coin. Will I ever learn to control it?

Happy Birthday IT Guy!

Late on March 31, 1964 my Mom went into labor with her second child. At the time we lived in a small town. One where everyone knows everybody. And the local doctor has delivered just about everyone in town and accepts chickens for payment (well maybe not really but you get the idea).

I was first born. We lived in the suburbs at the time and I was born in a big fancy teaching hospital. All the latest and greatest equipment. My Mom went into labor, they knocked her out and when she woke up they handed her a baby. Ta Da! Just like that.

So my Mom is taken into a labor room in this tiny little town hospital. As was customary at the time, my poor Dad was banished to the waiting room. A nurse turns to my Mom and sweetly says, "This is your second, so you know what to do honey." and walks out the door. The way my father tells it; not to long after that he hears my mother yell at the nurse that she is a sadistic bitch. That prompts my father to go see what's happening, after all there wasn't this much fuss the first time around. They don't want to let him in but he isn't going to be denied. He arrives just in time for the doctor to say to the nurse, "give her more gas, there's another one."

That very simple statement was the first inkling they had that my parents were about to be proud parents of two babies, not just one, as they had anticipated. Ten minutes after IT Guy was born, baby number two made his way into the world. Both boys were healthy 8 pounders. It was the talk of the town!

Meanwhile, the clock had ticked past midnight and this surprise actually came early in the morning on April 1st. After day break my Dad, a well known practical joker, called his family who lives in another state to tell them how they are proud parents of two healthy baby boys.

My fathers' brother answers the phone. When he is told how his sister in law just gave birth to twins he becomes annoyed with his forever joking brother, tells him that isn't something he should joke about and slams the phone down. After my parents stop laughing they call them back to assure them that this isn't an April Fool joke and they really do have two new nephews. My father and his brother got many a laugh over the years repeating this story.

Happy Birthday IT Guy! Really, it's not April Fool's........

I am Vindicated!

My mother was the grammar police. She could not stand improper use of our language. You should of heard her rant when she'd find grammatical errors in a newspaper, of all places. Then I married a grammar cop. Okay, so he's not as bad as my mom but he hates when I write something and end the sentence with a preposition. I've heard it before, but sometimes a sentence just needs to end that way. We've even had a few arguments discussions on the subject.
So today I'm poking around on different blogs. You know, because I have nothing else to do. I come across Grammar Girl. Wouldn't you know it she has a write up on ending a sentence with a preposition. Guess what she called it? Grammar Myth #1. Ha, vindication at last!

If you just don't want to, or can't bring yourself to believe me head on over to her site and check out what she has to say. She even explained the Who vs Whom thing in a way I might actually remember. I'm still struggling with the lie vs lay dilemma. Maybe I'll understand that at some point in my life.

I may not be the grammar police but I do prefer not to sound like a moron. Also, since I'm supposed to be teaching my children grammar it helps to have backup. I feel free.

We got the fever

Every two years, for two weeks our household comes to a complete standstill. We eat quickly prepared dinners, in the family room. Dishes pile up and are ignored until morning. We are up until after midnight, every night. We are all tired during the day and the kids can barely keep up with schoolwork. Yet we can't stop night after night.

We talk about slips, falls and missed opportunity. We talk about sacrifice, hard work and devotion. The kids try to add up scores in their head to see if their favorites won. We look up flags to see which one belongs to which country. We love listening to the personal stories of the athletes and wonder what it must be like to work your whole life for something and have it all come together or fall apart in two minutes.

At the end of the two weeks we are exhausted.

When it's over we go through withdrawal and catch up on some sleep; then start our wait for the next Olympic Games to start.

Yahrzeit

Yahrzeit is the remembrance of a loved one who has passed away. It involves lighting a candle that burns for the 24 hours on the date of their death and saying kaddish for that person on that day.

Today is the 11th anniversary of my father's death. He struggled with COPD and CHF and lived longer than anyone believed he could. He was determined to meet and spend time with his first grandchild. The Scientist brought great joy to his life. When she was 9 months old he could no longer hold on. It was just too much. With great dignity he chose the course his life would take and how it would end.

Before he died he wrote several letters to her which were saved on a disk. Now that she is old enough I will be printing them out for her. I also plan to make copies for all his other grandchildren born after his death. It's just as much for them as for The Scientist.

My father was born during the depression to first generation immigrants. He was one of 13 children. His family had worked hard and done well. They lost everything but never gave up. My father left school and went to work after 8th grade to help support the family. He was completely self educated and one of the most well read, educated people I knew. Wounded during WW II, he returned to fight even though he suffered a partially disabling injury.

His obituary talks about his love for his family. How books and reading were a keystone in his life. How he considered himself a very lucky man.

Even after I had grown and was on my own I talked to him almost every day. After he passed away it was a long time before I stopped catching myself picking up the phone to call him. I admired him in many ways and respected his opinion. Many times I find myself wondering what he would think or say about something. He knew how important is was to discuss and debate, he loved listening to others opinions. He had no time for political correctness or the bullshit that goes along with it.

When I got my drivers license and said I wanted to get a VW Bug he was upset that I would buy a German car. But in his typical fashion he stated his opinion, heard my reply then let me make my own decision (I never got that Bug or any other German car). Yet when he met friends of my husband's family who were born and raised in Germany and immigrated to the US after WW II he was nothing but friendly and accepting. He never judged people except for what he saw in them. It took me a long time to understand how he managed to separate his feelings.

Before he died he told me his only regret was that he wouldn't get to know his grandchildren and they wouldn't know him. Don't worry, The Scientist, The Vet and Baseball Boy know all about their PopPop. You will always be with us. B'Shalom (with peace)

Better Late than Never

Today we celebrated Hanukkah. Yep, I know Hanukkah was last month but last month we were all sick. Swine flu sick, high fevers, coughing, a little vomit, and some bronchitis as icing on the cake.

We like to have family and friends over one night during Hanukkah and it just wasn't happening last month. We were all pretty disappointed, we look forward to getting together. So I got this idea that we could just wait till everyone is healthy and just do it then. So finally everyone is feeling good. I called my brother and we align the calenders. As usual our schedules are a jumbled nightmare. The Engineer and my brother work Monday through Friday. My sister in law and I work weekends. Getting a day when we are all off together doesn't happen often so when we checked and realized that the only day for the next three weeks was 5 days away we just went for it. As you may remember from this post I haven't really kept up with the housework. So needless to say having 5 days to get everything ready was going to be a challenge. I knew The Engineer was going to be in a panic over it too. So I did what any self respecting wife would do. I didn't tell him until 2 days before.

After that therapeutic post I did feel better and was able to get a little more focus. So the house did get some attention and was it wasn't as bad. There still was plenty of work to do. The Engineer in his typical fashion (and I'm not complaining) got to work. I went around putting miscellaneous things away while he tackled mountains of laundry, dusting, vacuuming and the bathrooms. He even helped the kids get their rooms to a point that it was safe to enter.

So yesterday was spent cooking and cleaning. Well, until I went to work. But this morning when I got home from work everything looked wonderful. The Engineer had worked his magic.

We had to be at the synagogue this morning and didn't get home until 1PM, everyone is coming at 3PM. Yikes!

I baked a pie (pecan, every ones favorite) and slapped together a chocolate cake. The Vet had given me a cake pan in the shape of a menorah for Hanukkah, the cake turned out really cool.

So everyone shows up and as usual I totally blow my time I'd like to have dinner. I wanted to eat by 4PM but as usual I totally misjudge how long it takes to make latkes. So friends and family chip in and we get it done. As usual Just Me saves my hiney helping me cook and get everything together. She even helped my daughter make the icing for the cake and then frosted it. It was one of my favorite holiday dinners, brisket, latkes, steamed broccoli, asparagus and a nice big salad, thank you Doc (that's my sister in law).

It was a wonderful night, you can't beat it, family, friends, food, good conversation and lots of kids having a great time. And since I finally have a kitchen that is big enough to support cooking and conversation I didn't miss a thing.

A Brief Intermission

We interrupt the story in progress to inform you of a change in characters. The Genius has decided that maybe that isn't how she wants to be known in cyber world and wishes to be referred to as The Scientist from this point forward. Please make a note of this for future reference.

The Genius, Oh My

I let my spawn, oops I mean children choose their own names for the blog. I regretted it almost immediately. My oldest daughter chose The Genius. Are you kidding me???? I tried to remain calm and not just call her arrogant. I twisted it to "Don't you think that is arrogant?" Her response was, "No, I'm just smart." Okay, yes your smart but to name yourself The Genius seems a little, and here I paused looking for the right word. She jumped right in and said, "Narcissistic". Yes, that's it. Her response, "So what, it's my name and you said I could pick it." Like so many other times with her I have nothing to say.

***edited to add on December 19****

The Genius was offended by this post and denies the conversation took place. Even denying knowing the meaning of the word narcissistic.

Brag Rag?

Like most people who exchange Christmas cards some of them come with a paper inside telling the receiver all about their previous year. Sometimes it's just about how the year has gone. Ups and downs and if anything big happened. Like most people our card list includes old friends that we don’t see often so it was nice to read and get an instant update on their lives. Sometimes (and more often than not, I’ve found) it’s just a list, bragging about just how wonderful a life they have compared to the little masses. I couldn’t help myself and felt compelled to make fun of these “brag rags”. I told myself I would never stoop to this practice. If they didn’t know what was going on in my life then just sending a card to know I thought of them at least once a year was going to have to cut it. Then last year we moved in mid October and by the time I got around to sending out change of address notices to all our friends and family it was holiday card time. So I figured, what the heck I’ll just add a note to our card with our new address. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I had my very own “brag rag”. Crap, I didn’t want to be one of those people but it really wasn’t that bad and after all it did serve its purpose, notifying everyone of our new address. So I printed it out, on nice holiday paper, of course, and sent it off. Several people told me how much they enjoyed it, that was it, my ego stroked I started thinking about it in November this year and stayed up until 4 AM one night writing this years version. So I’m going to copy it here so if anyone reads it I’m hoping to get some honest feedback. So please, no sugar coating, no politically correct crap, just spit it out, what do you think?

******NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT******

We hope everyone had a happy and healthy year. Our year was a full one. Making changes to our new home, adding a new cat to our family, some health issues, (which are now resolved), and homeschooling three kids has certainly kept us busy.
The first few months of 2009 were spent settling into our new home. It didn’t take long for us to start making some of the changes we wanted. Tearing down an old shed and ripping out the back patio/deck was our first order of business. Fencing in the yard so the kids and dogs could run freely came next. Soon after, a sliding glass door to the backyard and a new basement door were installed. As soon as the weather warmed, a new front walk (the old one was a safety hazard) and new rear patio were installed. Cleaning up neglected landscaping and yard work kept the kids busy. During the summer we converted an old detached garage into a shed. We finished off the outside part of our project by installing an in ground pool and after 23 years of waiting The Engineer finally saw his wish come true. The yard is a wreck from all the outside work but some seed and sod in the spring will clean it up.
Moving to this area also opened up an opportunity for The Engineer and Rustys Mom to get back to their study of the Martial Arts. We were happy to find a Kenpo Karate studio 10 minutes from our home. It didn’t take long for the kids to get interested and all three have already earned their yellow belts.
As part of their 4H project the kids took responsibility for four one day old baby chicks. They lived in a brooder in our laundry room for several weeks until they were old enough to move to the chicken coop. All four were supposed to be hens so imagine our surprise when we heard “cock-a-doodle-doo” coming from the coop one day. It turned out that one of our hens was a rooster. Since keeping a rooster doesn’t make for happy neighbors, we found him a home on a farm. Later, we added several more hens and now we have an abundance of fresh eggs. The Genius and The Vet both won ribbons showing their “girls” at the Grange Fair in August.
The Genius and The Vet joined the local softball league and had a great time playing this spring and summer, Their team was knocked out in the first round of playoffs but they can’t wait to play again next year. Baseball Boy, not to be outdone, joined the local baseball team and lo and behold, boy can that kid hit a ball. He can be found hitting balls out in the yard no matter what the weather (and hopping the fence to retrieve them from the neighbors’ yard).
Baseball Boy is still playing piano and this year will be accompanying the choir at synagogue for the Hanukkah service. Speaking of choir, all three kids joined the synagogue youth choir and will be performing at a local store in December for a benefit.
The Vet's wish to learn to play guitar finally came true this year and she started lessons. The Vet and Baseball Boy often try to put together a duet. Let’s just say they are working on it. The Genius surprised us all by wanting to learn violin. She is doing wonderfully and all the screeching we were worried about didn’t happen.
This year’s homeschool theater production was a great success. Baseball Boy had a lead part in “Attack of the Space Villains or Dirty Socks and Metal”. The Genius and The Vet stretched their comic abilities in this year’s version of “30 Plays in 60 Minutes”. All three kids had parts in “*********** Podcast” which was filmed over the summer and is available for viewing (for free) at http://www.itunes.com/. Please forgive the little plug there. :-)
Oh, just one more brag. Mickey, our dog, passed his AKC Canine Good Citizen test with flying colors. Malka is going to be taking her test in the spring.
We are healthy and very happy with our new home. The Engineer is still working for the Department of the Navy, writing computer programs that run training simulators for our country's Naval Fleet. Rustys Mom works part time as an EMT and one night a week as a vet tech. We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this year and look forward to many more. We are truly blessed.
We wish you all a very happy holiday season and a healthy new year.