Brag Rag?

Like most people who exchange Christmas cards some of them come with a paper inside telling the receiver all about their previous year. Sometimes it's just about how the year has gone. Ups and downs and if anything big happened. Like most people our card list includes old friends that we don’t see often so it was nice to read and get an instant update on their lives. Sometimes (and more often than not, I’ve found) it’s just a list, bragging about just how wonderful a life they have compared to the little masses. I couldn’t help myself and felt compelled to make fun of these “brag rags”. I told myself I would never stoop to this practice. If they didn’t know what was going on in my life then just sending a card to know I thought of them at least once a year was going to have to cut it. Then last year we moved in mid October and by the time I got around to sending out change of address notices to all our friends and family it was holiday card time. So I figured, what the heck I’ll just add a note to our card with our new address. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew I had my very own “brag rag”. Crap, I didn’t want to be one of those people but it really wasn’t that bad and after all it did serve its purpose, notifying everyone of our new address. So I printed it out, on nice holiday paper, of course, and sent it off. Several people told me how much they enjoyed it, that was it, my ego stroked I started thinking about it in November this year and stayed up until 4 AM one night writing this years version. So I’m going to copy it here so if anyone reads it I’m hoping to get some honest feedback. So please, no sugar coating, no politically correct crap, just spit it out, what do you think?

******NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT******

We hope everyone had a happy and healthy year. Our year was a full one. Making changes to our new home, adding a new cat to our family, some health issues, (which are now resolved), and homeschooling three kids has certainly kept us busy.
The first few months of 2009 were spent settling into our new home. It didn’t take long for us to start making some of the changes we wanted. Tearing down an old shed and ripping out the back patio/deck was our first order of business. Fencing in the yard so the kids and dogs could run freely came next. Soon after, a sliding glass door to the backyard and a new basement door were installed. As soon as the weather warmed, a new front walk (the old one was a safety hazard) and new rear patio were installed. Cleaning up neglected landscaping and yard work kept the kids busy. During the summer we converted an old detached garage into a shed. We finished off the outside part of our project by installing an in ground pool and after 23 years of waiting The Engineer finally saw his wish come true. The yard is a wreck from all the outside work but some seed and sod in the spring will clean it up.
Moving to this area also opened up an opportunity for The Engineer and Rustys Mom to get back to their study of the Martial Arts. We were happy to find a Kenpo Karate studio 10 minutes from our home. It didn’t take long for the kids to get interested and all three have already earned their yellow belts.
As part of their 4H project the kids took responsibility for four one day old baby chicks. They lived in a brooder in our laundry room for several weeks until they were old enough to move to the chicken coop. All four were supposed to be hens so imagine our surprise when we heard “cock-a-doodle-doo” coming from the coop one day. It turned out that one of our hens was a rooster. Since keeping a rooster doesn’t make for happy neighbors, we found him a home on a farm. Later, we added several more hens and now we have an abundance of fresh eggs. The Genius and The Vet both won ribbons showing their “girls” at the Grange Fair in August.
The Genius and The Vet joined the local softball league and had a great time playing this spring and summer, Their team was knocked out in the first round of playoffs but they can’t wait to play again next year. Baseball Boy, not to be outdone, joined the local baseball team and lo and behold, boy can that kid hit a ball. He can be found hitting balls out in the yard no matter what the weather (and hopping the fence to retrieve them from the neighbors’ yard).
Baseball Boy is still playing piano and this year will be accompanying the choir at synagogue for the Hanukkah service. Speaking of choir, all three kids joined the synagogue youth choir and will be performing at a local store in December for a benefit.
The Vet's wish to learn to play guitar finally came true this year and she started lessons. The Vet and Baseball Boy often try to put together a duet. Let’s just say they are working on it. The Genius surprised us all by wanting to learn violin. She is doing wonderfully and all the screeching we were worried about didn’t happen.
This year’s homeschool theater production was a great success. Baseball Boy had a lead part in “Attack of the Space Villains or Dirty Socks and Metal”. The Genius and The Vet stretched their comic abilities in this year’s version of “30 Plays in 60 Minutes”. All three kids had parts in “*********** Podcast” which was filmed over the summer and is available for viewing (for free) at http://www.itunes.com/. Please forgive the little plug there. :-)
Oh, just one more brag. Mickey, our dog, passed his AKC Canine Good Citizen test with flying colors. Malka is going to be taking her test in the spring.
We are healthy and very happy with our new home. The Engineer is still working for the Department of the Navy, writing computer programs that run training simulators for our country's Naval Fleet. Rustys Mom works part time as an EMT and one night a week as a vet tech. We celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary this year and look forward to many more. We are truly blessed.
We wish you all a very happy holiday season and a healthy new year.