The $2200.00 Cat - Part One: The Chicken

Driving home late last summer, quietly oblivious to anything except the road ahead I am blown out of my peaceful state by three kids screaming. I immediately slam on my brakes and pull to the side of the road. Oh my G-d, is everyone okay, did I hit something, did something horrible just happen in front of their eyes that I didn't see? They are so upset it takes them a minute to get the story out so that I can understand them. "A chicken, a chicken, he's dirty, oh no he's going to get killed." What they hell are they blabbering about, a chicken? Finally, they calm down enough to tell me they saw a chicken on the side of the road at a busy intersection we just passed. It appears to be dirty and is walking close to the road. They must go save it or they will not be able to live with themselves, their lives ruined, they will fall into a life of crime and die at a young age from no doubt a brutal death. I am already questioning why I felt the need to pass along my love of animals to my children. It's a chicken, you guys eat them at least twice a week without blinking an eye. The Vet's favorite meal is a spicy chicken dish. Give me a break! But I know when I can't win so I turn around saying a little prayer that the chicken lives there and just got out of the coop. It was not to be, the neighbors told us that two chickens had been dumped by someone about a week ago and they don't know what happened to the other one (hawk or fox food, no doubt) but this one just keeps hanging around. It was filthy and it looked just plain tired. We chased it around until it just gave up and we caught it. We wrapped it up and put it in the van and home we go. What the heck am I going to do with this chicken, which to make matters worse appears to be a rooster. Nobody wants roosters, they're noisy and other than making little chicks there isn't much point to them. Okay, they are beautiful but that doesn't make up for all the other stuff. I'm sure they are tasty but the kids would have none of that. We have chickens and I think my kids just had dreams of putting him in our coop and living out a wonderful life among our flock.

NOT

First and foremost we don't know anything about the health of this chicken and putting him in our coop could wipe out our flock.

Second: NO ROOSTERS ALLOWED.

Third: Mom and Dad said no, period.

So I call some chicken friends but no one can take him. I call the local SPCA looking for advice and am told to bring him over. They have a list of farms that take farm animals. They are getting ready to close but we tell them we will be there first thing in the morning. So the kids give him a bath so he's nice and clean for his new farm home and make a makeshift pen in our garage for the night. Give him fresh food and water and off to sweet dreams they go knowing they have made a life better in this world. They are up bright and early to check on the chicken they named "Bruce the rooster". He is obviously well rested and his belly is full. He has escaped from his pen and is using the entire garage as his coop. They are pleased as punch at how much better he appears. Later that afternoon that changed while cleaning up the garage, but hey not everything is roses. After breakfast the kids fill a zip lock bag with chicken food and off to the SPCA we go. We bring Bruce in and he's the star of the show. Several people there looking at dogs and cats all flock around to meet him. It's not long before Bruce is whisked away for a checkup and prepared for a trip to his new home. While I'm filling out the paperwork the kids want to go visit the cats. Sure, go ahead. I'll come get you when I'm ready to leave. Silly me.