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It's Girl Scout cookie season again. Woo hoo!!

Every year the Girl Scouts offer incentive prizes. The "big" prize is always something that makes the girls salivate with excitement. This year is no different. They are offering an I-Pod Touch to any girl that sells 2500 boxes of cookies. That's a lot of cookie dough.

My girls sell together. So since they have to split their sales they plan to sell 5000 boxes so they each may have their own I-Pod Touch. They'll spend the next three months working side by side selling cookies but don't want to consider sharing one. I don't even try to understand teenage logic.

Open Mouth Insert Foot....

You know I never know when to shut up. Along with the malfunctioning filter that runs between my brain and my mouth, I often get myself in trouble. Okay, trouble might be too strong of a word, but I can definitely annoy some people.

Two things today showed that there have been no improvements for me in these areas. First, today was our monthly Afternoon with the Arts. It's a home school thing we do where the kids get to each show off something they did or can do. Like artwork, poetry and playing a musical instrument. They have to do it in front of an audience. Then afterward we have high tea for the kids, with finger food, and do a quick etiquette lesson. You know the whole shebang, cloth napkins, real china tea cups, place cards and practicing making small talk. Okay, I know, I know, I digressed. Eventually you'll get used to it. So anyway, who shows up today but the Girl Scout Leader who I previously had issue with. She has been avoiding me since our little to-do. I walk in the door and she's standing right there. She looks like a deer trapped in a snare, she wants to run but can't without being a total ass. So instead of saying a quick hi and letting her escape I make small talk. Forcing her to stay and talk to me for a few moments. It is probably the worst 3 minutes of her day and I thoroughly enjoyed it. After I let her go she was very careful to avoid me the rest of the afternoon. I knew I accomplished what I set out to do. Oh, the small things that bring me joy.

The other thing didn't bring me joy, in fact it bummed me out. I'm not sure what to do with this one. While on the road today we called IT Guy to wish him a happy birthday. After the traditional singing of Happy Birthday on speaker phone by the kids I take the phone. During the conversation I apologize for backing out of having him and his family over for our Passover Seder that I canceled due to an unexpected marathon shift at work. He said no problem and then tells me he doesn't even think we need to invite him over for it since they don't understand or contribute to the seder and they are not raising their kids Jewish. I let him know that he's stuck doing these things since he's the only local family I have. We have cousins out of state who sometimes make it but they can't always. Besides the whole reason for the seder is to tell the story and to learn. Every time I go to or have a seder I learn something new. So he agrees and sees my point. But could I stop there, no I couldn't. I had to open my mouth and continue on. I said I wanted them to be familiar with our traditions, especially his kids so they would understand their cousins religion. Especially since we are practicing Jews. It's hard enough when strangers have no clue about your religion or traditions but to have family members in the same boat is somehow worse. I could hear it in his voice. His discomfort level went up a couple of notches. Even though I have assured him numerous times that how he raises his kids is their decision and not a concern of mine I still get the feeling that he is not comfortable even talking about their choices. I know it's a sensitive issue for him so why don't I quit while I'm ahead. I don't know, maybe it's leftover Jewish Mother Guilt or something but I wish I could get it through his head that I just want them to join us and be a part of it because it's important to my family and we want them to share it with us and nothing more.

Two sides of the same coin. Will I ever learn to control it?

No good deed goes unpunished...

This was the post on Facebook today from a certain troop leader I know. The temptation to comment "you can say that again" under it was strong and I'm still not sure I'm going to be able to resist doing it.

As you now know we wrapped up cookie sales today. About two weeks ago our service unit cookie manager (SUCM) told me that we appear to be the top selling troop in her unit. All the numbers were not in but it was looking good for us. I don't even remember if I mentioned it to the other Cookie Mom. It was mentally filed under "I'll worry about that later." As things were coming to a close the SUCM met the other Cookie Mom and again mentioned to her that it looked like our troop was top sellers. We figured it would be really cool to be the ones to tell the girls.

So imagine our surprise, hurt, disappointment, and let down when one of the leaders posts to the GS Yahoo group that our group was the top seller. Then follow that up by the other leader posting how many boxes we sold and about how much money she figured we made. Talk about jumping the gun. All our final paperwork wasn't even done at this time. This was the response that the other Cookie Mom and I sent.

Hey (leader),

It's wonderful news and we are all very happy about how well the girls did. However, we were really looking forward to telling the girls ourselves. We worked pretty hard so the girls had the opportunity to make this a success and we wanted to share in their celebration when they found out. One of the only perks to being Cookie Mom(s) is being able to announce to the girls their success and hand out their prizes. We had hoped to be the ones to make this particular announcement.

We don't want to start a big to-do, we just wanted to let you know how we feel.
Cookie Mom 1 and Cookie Mom 2

PS. It is not necessary to thank us for our work. We were happy to do it for the girls, really.

Well, the response from the leader was quick and nasty. We didn't expect her to be happy but you would have thought we accused her of high treason. Her first complaint was that we responded directly to her email so it went to the group. Well yeah, if there is any hope of the moms not telling their daughters we needed to get that word out. Second complaint was that we attacked and berated her for announcing this. I didn't think so, in fact Cookie Mom 2 made me tone down the response, you should have seen my rough draft. She accused us of saying she had "evil intentions" and we were just mad because she "stole our thunder", which wasn't her intention. Please, dear reader, do you see any of that in our response. I assure you it wasn't even in my rough draft. We were upset, but not because we thought she did it intentionally to hurt us, just that she didn't consider that this might be something we'd like to announce. Let's not even get into the fact that this information wasn't even confirmed

So here's where we screwed up. In the beginning we had a problem in our troop. See, nobody in their right mind wanted to be cookie mom. So through a string of emails we decided to form a Cookie Team. The Cookie Team had a meeting. At the meeting we had the two leaders and us. First thing, right off the bat one of the leaders (who happens to be the one we are now having an issue with) informs us that she can be a part of the "team" but she is much too busy to be expected to actually do anything. The other leader told us she could help in the beginning but that she was going away on vacation for 3 weeks in the middle of cookie sales, and she's leaving in two weeks, so she would do what she could before she left. So we talk about what we need to know to get started and we each take "assignments". Since the one leader made it clear she didn't have time for this all she had to do was pick up some permission slips from the SUCM (who lives less than a mile from her house) and bring them to the next troop meeting in a week. The other leader was going to try to set up some booths at a bank. At the meeting we ask for the permission slips and she said she didn't get them but we could just go get them now if we wanted, which we did. So she now dumped the one thing she said she'd do right back in our lap. Okay, so much for that team member. So the other leader gets some booths set up and leaves for vacation. While on vacation she tries to stay in touch via email for the booths but it was getting to confusing with her away since most of the parents were approaching us to make the arrangements. So the Cookie Team became Cookie Mom 1 and Cookie Mom 2. We didn't bother to clarify this with our other "team members" since we were too damn busy actually doing the work. So the sale is wrapping up and CM1 and CM2 have everything under control. Damn, I digressed again. I was supposed to be telling you how we screwed up. We didn't tell the other two members of our so called Cookie Team that we planned to make the announcements to the girls and hand out their incentive prizes at a meeting. You know with everything going on you'd think we would have taken them into consideration. I mean I don't know why we wouldn't have told them. It's really only common courtesy considering all their hard work. Oh, wait a minute I have that backwards. Silly me. I'm all over the place aren't I.

So I'm wondering if it's just me. I mean with the weight of Jewish Mother Guilt always over my head sometimes it hard to know if I'm the guilty rotten party. I also sometimes get mired down by common sense. I forget that not everyone possesses that trait. So at close out we run our dilemma past our SUCM. See we lucked out, our SUCM is a life time super Girl Scout. Not only did this woman go through the entire girl scout program, she has been a troop leader, service unit manager and a cookie manager and her mother was some big boss honcho at Girl Scout HQ. This woman knows her Girl Scout stuff. So after running past her what happened she apologizes profusely for telling the leader that we might be top sellers, she had no idea this woman would do such a thing. She even said she'd remove her from the email list for cookie information if we wanted. She said what she did was totally inappropriate and that it is supposed to be the Cookie Mom(s) who gets the joy of sharing all the final numbers with the girls.

So now the other leader (who's back from vacation jumps in and wants to know how the Cookie Team became two Cookie Moms. After I explained it to her she didn't respond to my email. Guess she got my point. Oh and I cc that one to the other leader too, you know in case she was wondering.

The other Cookie Mom also sent a response to the leaders. Guess they got tired of it and never even responded to her. At least at this point anyway.

So my final line of my final email to them was "So please, if it involves cookie stuff, please run it past CM1 or CM2 before going to the group. It's all we're asking."

In the end the one leader (the one who posted the offending email) apologized. We said it was wrong of us to assume you knew these things. I'm sure they didn't pick up on the sacasm in that statement. I can tell you we have two very unhappy leaders who know they are between a rock and a hard place with this. Can you guess why? No hints..... Scroll down when you're ready to compare your answer.
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Because we did a great job, they know it and they know no one else in the troop is going to do it if we don't. So they are stuck with us as Cookie Moms. And as much work as it was we enjoyed it and the satisfaction we got from helping the girls reach their goals and do so well was sweet. So we're going to do this again next year. So suck it up ladies, tomorrow's a new day.

It's Over

Today at 12:30 we met with our cookie service manager, turned in our paper work and the incentive awards to her and just like that it's over. After almost 8 weeks of thinking about nothing but cookies I need to find another way to fill my time. You know, like helping my daughter with her spelling or the bane of her existence, long division. Or helping my son with his reading and maybe help him study his Hebrew letters. Or maybe even come home when I'm supposed to instead of meeting parents to deliver cookies and collect money. Maybe spend some time practicing for my next belt test in karate instead of going to the cookie warehouse or the cookie cupboard. Maybe even read a book. Now there's a concept.

Well, all the hard work paid off. It looks like our troop was the highest selling troop in our service unit. The girls really stepped up to the plate, they should be very proud of themselves. The other Cookie Mom and I are very proud of ourselves. We've been told several times that a Cookie Mom makes or breaks a cookie sale. We feel good.

Of course, no good story comes to an end quietly and without drama... This one was no different.

Cookie Sales-Danger at every corner

This weekend we had two cookie booths. The Vet having recovered from her previous injury has been busy making up for lost time selling cookies.

Yesterday was a slow booth in a crowded vestibule at a local grocery store. Outside a group of politicians were handing out flyer's for a cause they were kissing ass supporting. It was pretty crowded outside with them harassing talking to constituents.

People were bursting through the door to escape them and then running right into two girl scouts anxious to sell them a little deadly trans fat in the shape of a delicious box of cookies. Eight flavors take your pick :-)

The Vet was standing by the door as they walked in and as she turned to say something she stepped backward without realizing it. At that moment someone stepped on the electronic mat and the door swung open and smacked her right in the back of the head. No blood, no swelling, just pain and some tears to help wash it away.

The Scientist, always helpful, noted what a great blog post this would make. Hugs and kisses brought things under control and a sale wiped the rest of it away.

Tough kid that she is, she was ready to face another dangerous day just 24 hours after her second injury selling cookies. I'm fed up with putting my kids in such danger over cookie sales. Next weekend we're heading to the skate park so they can work on some tricks on the half pipe.

The Name Dropper

You've met her. She's one of the 1st grade moms from Girl Scouts. Today she calls because she needs more cookies. Her boyfriend said he would sell them at work for her daughter, because you know he's the CEO, so he can do that. Her husband didn't want to sell them at work. I don't get involved in personal stuff so I don't have an answer to the question floating in your head right now. Then she says hold on, her new GPS is telling her to turn and she doesn't want to miss it. After she's back on she asks me if I know anything about sheep or goats. Not really. She said she's trying to decide which one to get and she heard that goats were harder to keep than sheep. Here's an idea, how about doing some research before you take on the responsibility of a living animal, but what do I know. So she says shes going to ask her friend, the vets wife, when she gets back from her vacation in Mexico.

And on an unrelated note: Last week I dropped cookies off at her house and she answered the door in a bra and slacks, invited me in and proceeded to make conversation like that for 10 minutes. I'm not a prude but I tend to invite people in when I'm dressed, but like I said, what do I know. It was a little surreal.

The Reluctant Girl Scout

Not a Girl Scout, in fact, not even a girl. With two sisters out of commision, in the hottest cookie selling time and having your Mom as cookie mom, Baseball Boy has had to step out of his comfort zone to help out.

Loading cases of cookies in and out of the van. Running back and forth between the van and houses to deliver cookies that The Scientist has sold. Giving The Vet the information and money so she can track it from the comfort from her seat in the van. Walking up and down the road in front of our house to flag down potential customers who might want to stop and purchase cookies at the end of our driveway from his awaiting sisters.

Helping me separate the cases out to fill each of the orders for the girls in the troop. Once again loading them in the van. Writing the girls names on the cases so we know who gets what.

I'd just like to thank Baseball Boy for all his hard work. His sisters have already thanked him numerous times but I just wanted to say it too. There should be a badge that could be given to the hardest working non girl scout that helps to get those cookies sold. If there was I'd definetly say he has earned it.

Injuries Plague Girl Scouts

byline: Rusty's Mom

Anywhere, USA. In what seems like one plague after another the Girl Scout Cookie program was dealt another blow yesterday when The Vet was injured while going door to door selling cookies. While walking down a driveway, after ringing a neighbors doorbell, she tripped and fell. She sustained minor injures to both hands and left knee. Her right knee was seriously injured in the fall. Initial reports of a possible knee fracture were found to be false but several stitches were needed to repair a 2 inch gash in her knee. The homeowner was not home at the time. Several witnesses reported her to be running but confirmation on that report was unavailable at press time. If this was the case that would be in direct violation of Girl Scout rules. No running, hopping, skipping, jumping or other joyful expressions are permitted when moving from one house to the next while conducting council approved fundraisers. Studies show that injuries are becoming such a concern that the century old organization is contemplating banning door to door sales. An undisclosed source, who was not authorized to comment, stated that the safety of the girls is a top priority and several measures are being considered at this time to prevent future injuries.
Some suggestions being considered are only allowing girls to be carried from house to house by their parents to prevent the possibility of tripping or falling while walking. Also being considered is that all girls must wear elbow, knee and wrist pads along with a CPSC approved helmet while selling cookies. Bubble wrap manufacturers are working to get OSHA approval for a new product designed to protect arms, legs and hineys from injury during a fall, if that happens they plan to present their product to the Girl and Boy Scouts of America for use during their fundraising campaigns.
In a related story Nomex recently received approval for a new fire resistant suit to protect Camp Fire Girls while roasting wienies and marshmallows. The Camp Fire Girls organization is pleased that the girls will once again be able to have camp fires available on a limited basis. Other concerns need to be addressed before full access to camp fires can be approved.
The Vet is recovering at home and is expected to make a full recovery. There is no word on how this will affect her future cookie sales.

Cookie Saga..The Good...The Bad and the hungry

I've had the cookies for 27 hours now. Last night I picked them up. My scheduled time was 5:10 PM. I was ready to do battle to get my cookies. I was scheduled for Lane 1. Being assigned a lane just upped my anxiety about the pickup. I was given a list of things to be aware of for the pickup. Don't be late (for me that's a tough one); have your car ready so they can just put the boxes in; make sure none of the boxes are damaged; make sure you get the correct number of boxes; if you miss your spot you have to wait on the side until they can get back to you; not good when you have to leave for work 1/2 hour after pickup; have your T7 form ready. I show up 5 mins. early. My car is ready to go, thank you Engineer. Paperwork at the ready I pull up and am the only one there for pickup, so much for lane anxiety. I get out of my car and the paperwork guy (couldn't miss him, he was the one with the clipboards and pens) says, "Troop number?". I answer and the next thing I know I'm swarmed by eight men with boxes of cookies (doesn't that sound wonderful when it's written like that). I want to check the boxes so I make them only put the cookies in one type at a time. Considering that it was about 11 degrees out they were pretty amicable and cooperative. Within five minutes the car is loaded, papers are signed and I'm on my way. Holy crap that was quick.

I head to work, my car full of cookies. The other cookie mom is going to meet me at work and we are going to get the cases repacked so when we start giving them out I can just hand them the cases and they sign and go. Fortunately I work in EMS. So I have the type of job where I sit around waiting for something bad to happen to someone. Some people say EMS stands for Earn Money Sleeping. If you have a quiet night that pretty much sums it up. Of course many nights I walk in the door, we take our first run and go all night long. Last night the EMS gods were kind and we were able to get all our cookies arraigned the way we wanted them and packed back in the car for delivery before we had our first run. One of the moms showed up to pick up her share of cookies and said the "Q" word before she left... Very bad, never, ever say "I hope you have a "quiet" night." We never say the "Q" word, even if you don't believe in that silly stuff you just don't do it.

So this morning I meet a couple of parents in the parking lot of a large store so they can pick up their cookies. We joke about making a "deal" in the parking lot and wonder what the security cameras are picking up. It goes smooth as glass, well except for my pen freezing, and I'm on my way home.

The Engineer helps me bring all the boxes in and my dining room has a new job. A couple of parents show up to pick up their cookies. Cauldron mom wants more than her allotted cookies so I give her more, she whines about not having as many Thin Mints as she wanted, oh well life's a bitch. I remind her to make sure to get her reorder info in so she can have as many Thin Mints as her heart desires and she's on her way.

Later I take a nap (there was only about an hour of earn money sleeping and I was tired) and woke up with a craving for Peanut Butter Sandwich cookies. I could hear them whispering in my ear. I hope this is just a passing phase since I haven't had them in a year. If not this is going to be a long three months. Sadly there is an entire case of those suckers just sitting there whispering my name. I hear them now.....

Birth of a Cookie Mom Czar

Because I have sucker written on my forehead I said I'd be part of a cookie team for my girls' Girl Scout Troop. The troop leader first asked if anyone would help, then begged, then laid on the guilt, then just threatened all the moms until two of us finally gave in "for our girls" and said we'd do it. Anybody that knows me knows it just pisses me off to have my Jewish mother guilt activated. So maybe they don't know what they've gotten themselves into by letting me be in charge of passing out the cookies. I have no idea how this is going to play out. I'm trying to keep that glass half full. Of course in the group of Girl Scout Mom's we have the two troop leaders, one who has an infant and one who is having a nervous breakdown over family issues. We have a mom who at first refused to have anything to do with the cookies because they contain trans fat and will kill us all, but gave in to her daughter after she begged to be allowed to sell them, we have the mom who stirs the cauldron of excrement, and the two moms who are like first graders giggling. I was grateful for the one and only sensible mom. Fortunately, the other half of this cookie team is someone I like. Somehow the two moms with the biggest homeschooling kid load wound up with this thankless job.

So today we have a safety meeting, it's mandatory if you want to sell cookies. The powers to be at GS HQ take this stuff very seriously. I'm not sure whether to be in awe of this GS cookie machine or terrified of it. So we split the group up. Mom's in one room, girls in the other. I take the Mom's (thank g-d, the thought of facing those excited pack of GS's sent shivers up my spine). All is going along well. I explained the rules, answered questions, gave them the rundown on how the cookie pickup will work. The two 1st grade moms are irritating me but I'm controlling my annoyance. The next thing I know we're done and the kids from the other room explode in and it's over. Or so I thought.

After the meeting the other cookie mom and I get together to go over the cookie pickup which is rapidly approaching. Both of us are a little nervous since we're new to this game and the one leader who said she'd help hasn't done the one thing we asked her to do. But after sitting down and making one of those lists I love we were feeling much more sure of ourselves. I head home feeling like we have this under control. We decided I'd send an email to the group just going over what we talked about just in case there were any questions. We only have one mom (other than my partner in cookie crime) who ever sold cookies before and she's always got her cauldron on her hip.

I log on getting ready to send my follow up email. And there it is; Subj: Questions!!!! It's from one of the 1st graders. My annoyance level immediately goes up a notch. I read her email, and the two responses, one from one of the leaders trying to answer her question and the other from cauldron mom doing what she does best. Of course her questions had been answered very clearly in the meeting. And on top of that, as usual her emails take on a condescending tone. After reading it a couple of times I realize that her pissy attitude is directed at her daughter, who she is apparently at war with over the cookie rules, not at us, which it first appeared to be. I called my cookie partner and dumped it in her lap. We talked it over and came up with a response which hopefully will answer her questions without escalating her attitude. The urge to respond with sarcasm was strong but being the mature adults we are (sound of throat clearing), did not stoop to her level. Of course all bets are off when it comes to blog fodder, but isn't that one of the points of having a blog. :-)