"Stay out of your head, it's a dangerous place."
That was a text I received around lunchtime today reminding me that I think too much. It came from a member of my team. I analyze and dissect trying to get to the bottom of any problem I come across. The problem is that when it comes to eating my mind is a very screwed up place indeed. So I'm trying to figure out a calculus problem with a broken calculator. I need to knock it off and accept help from people who have been living abstinent for years. They already have it figured out, why try to reinvent the wheel. My head knows they got it figured out and by following their path I too will find peace. So at least when it comes to food I have to stop thinking and start doing.
Accept help: It is one of my biggest defects. Asking for help is akin to admitting I couldn't handle it myself.
By questioning and not doing I am continuing to bog myself down in the details. It's all laid out. One day at a time, one step at a time. I'm fretting about steps I'm nowhere near. I am my own worst enemy.
One day at a time. Give myself a break. Progress not perfection.
Thinking is not a tool. Here is the list of tools I have to help me.
A Plan of Eating
Sponsorship
Meetings
Telephone
Writing
Literature
Anonymity
Service
As you might have guessed this has been a problem for me. I'm working on it, one day at a time.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
From running into burning buildings, cutting into wrecked cars, aiding sick and injured with all manner of complaints, training new dispatchers, giving lectures for the PD, interpreting ASL, all the way to the quieter duties of family and parenthood and always being there for your friends whenever we call, you have spent thirty-odd years being that person everyone confidently turns to for help. It's payback time, don'tcha think?
ReplyDeleteThis corner of your life may be out of control, but that doesn't mean you've become an unreliable slug overnight. Admitting you need help isn't weakness; it's wisdom.
I strongly suspect that, as soon as you're able, you will use everything you learn with OA to help others along the same road.