I'm Rusty's Mom and I eat way too much. That was my introduction. Yesterday after some more delay/denial I went back on the Overeaters Anonymous site and found a local meeting. They had a contact person. Before I could think about it I called the number. She invited me to a meeting last night. I came up with many excuses not to go, then made myself go anyway. They talked about being autonomous and the importance of anonymity. Anonymity I get. I sorta get autonomous, I think I need to hear more about that to really understand.
I didn't know what to expect but the only thing that surprised me was the number of people there and the high percentage of normal weight people.
They were very nice and I can see this is gonna be a major commitment. I'm afraid. Afraid of failing, of letting people down, of staying fat.
They gave me a booklet to read and one of the paragraphs talks of taking one day at a time. I think I'll start there.
The woman who did the newcomer introductions (there were two of us) said to find a sponsor as soon as possible. I have a list of names and phone numbers they gave me. I haven't called anyone yet. I will. I can't do it alone. My family doesn't really understand, to them it's all about eat less, move more. It's not that for me. I haven't figured out what it is, but I know it's not that simple.
I can't honestly answer whether it's okay that they don't understand. I'm going to take it one day at a time and find out. Taking it one day at a time sounds easy, that just tells me it's going to be hard.
I carry my weight well. I tell myself that, and others tell me that. When they hear how much I weigh they are surprised. I'm active too, so that's a good cover. But as I've gotten older it's not so easy to carry this weight anymore. And since I've returned to the martial arts it's handicap is even more obvious.
Just for today I'm going to accept that I can't do this on my own.
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I applaud your courage and your effort. I don't know what I can do to help since I don't fully understand what it means or what you're supposed to do in the days ahead, so I'll remind you of what you already know.
ReplyDeleteI'm just about always here, 24/7, a mere phone call away. If talking to a friend can help, even if she's one that's never been in your shoes, I hope you know that I'm happy to just listen and try to understand. My cell is rarely more than two feet away from my head.
Most important: I don't care what time you call. The only time I can't answer is during a deposition, but I'll call you back ASAP, and you can fill my voice mail if you can't wait and that makes you feel better.
Oh. Your family will come to understand. It's weird to them now, but as you work your way to the roots of the problem, they (and I) will be learning right along with you.
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