Book Review- Unsaid

Book Review - Unsaid by Neil Abramson

If you are expecting something literary forget it.

One word summation: Page turner (okay so it's two words, fire me)

This book was a gift from my vet. One of her clients gave her a copy and she couldn't put it down. She so identified with the main character that she bought copies for all her friends. I was a lucky recipient of one of the copies.

The main character is a veterinarian named Helena. Happily married to David, a big city attorney, and living and working in the country with her own group of damaged animals, she is diagnosed with cancer at the age of 37.

After she passes away, her devastated husband is approached by a woman that Helena worked with in a research laboratory before they met. She is trying to save a chimpanzee who is scheduled for a research experiment that will most likely take her life.

David, who is struggling with his own grief and trying to care for Helena's beloved animals, agrees to take on the case.

The story is told from the view of Helena as she is trapped between this world and the next. Unable to move on, terrified to face the animals she has helped pass on during her years as a veterinarian.

I really enjoyed this book. I would recommend it to anyone who loves animals and believes that they have the potential to communicate. The court room drama that unfolds left me with tears in my eyes.

People Suck?

Years of working in emergency services have left me jaded and cynical. Or maybe I'm just not very forgiving. Could be I've been let down one to many times by people who I thought I should be able to depend on. Probably all of the above and some other things I can't think of right now.

I've had to deal with leaches, stupidity and self centered bigoted pigs through the course of my career. Family members who hurt you and friends who were really only interested in what they would get from the friendship. Through my work at the vet's office and my interest in dog rescue I have seen some pretty horrible offenses brought upon man's best friend.

I've learned to peel those people from my daily life. I no longer allow them to affect my day to day living. I think it's one of the reasons why I feel so close with my dogs. They accept me for who I am. They forgive me for my shortcomings. Really forgive, not say they forgive then toss it back at me at a later date. I look at them and their shoddy beginnings and say if they can shake it off and look ahead then so shall I.

I can't avoid these types of people through my day to day job. After all, I'm paid to help them no matter how ridiculously stupid their request or how big of a sponge on the community as a whole they are. It's hard to remember that not all people are like that.

I have a few close friendships that I cherish. I have a few close family members that I know will be there for me and I for them. I've tended to take a pretty negative look at the rest of the world. I try not to but I'm not very successful.

I hear ya, "okay, okay, so what's the point?"

Today I went to my second OA meeting. When I looked around the room I saw people who I would consider to be from all walks. But when they talked they all have the same core issues. And every one of them was courteous, listened and encouraging to those around them. I have no idea what these people are like outside but in that room they all wanted what was best for everyone there and a little help for themselves. During that period of time nobody sucked.

Nobody's fault but my own..

Last night I left my cell phone at the vet's office. I've done it before and it's not a big deal because I don't live and die by my cell phone. Really, only people who need it to earn a living should be able to say that.

If you remember I am more of an old fashioned girl so this normally isn't a problem. Normally, now that's an interesting word. Since nothing is normal anymore.

Since I've been cookie mom I've added a whole list of new phone numbers to my cell phone. None of which I put in my good old fashioned phone book. Now today I am supposed to have a phone conference (doesn't that sound official, don't be impressed) with the other cookie mom about our next reorder, an important one since we are winding down cookie sales. Only one problem, we only have each other's cell phone numbers and we both have unlisted home numbers. The girls also have a chocolate party (Happy Valentines Day!) they are going to this afternoon and I don't have the phone number for the home they will be at anywhere but in my cell phone. Yep, you're right it's at the house of one of the girlscouts.

So I'm going to head to the vet's office to get my phone and when I come home I'm going to write all the new numbers in my good old fashioned phone book.

The Germaphobe rides again

So tonight the Germaphobe is coughing her head off. She's still hoarse. When I walk in the door she's sitting at the desk with tissues jammed against her nose. I'm thinking she came in sick again and I'm annoyed. I'm not worried about getting sick. It just pisses me off that she comes in sick after all her bitching about me making her sick.

So just for fun I complain to her about her coming in sick and how I don't want to get sick, blah, blah, blah and you know what she said!! Let me just tell you, I couldn't believe it. I'm still speechless (okay, I'm lying about speechless, I've been accused of many things, speechless is not one of them).

SHE SAID, "I don't think I was sick all along, I think it's allergies." What!!! After weeks of listening about how sick she is because of me and how her cats are gonna die because of me and how she has no one to take care of her when she is sick and it's all my fault because I'm selfish and came to work sick. After all that she has now decided that it must be allergies.

I just don't know how to respond to that.

The Germaphobe said I tried to kill her

One night a week I go to my favorite job. Working as a vet tech in a small doctors office is a dream job. I'd starve to death if I had to live off the money I make but the satisfaction more than makes up for it. Of course with my pack it sure helps with the discounted vet bills but I really do it because I love the animals. I've worked there for 14 years or so and I still leave every time feeling satisfied and proud of the work I do. Just another area of my life that I am blessed.

For many years I worked by myself as the only tech (on the night I worked). It was just the vet and me. I've worked Monday nights almost from the time I started. It is the busiest night of the week. The animals coming in are usually sick and it's the first chance that the owners have had to bring them in because of the weekend. About 8 years ago they hired someone else to work on Monday nights with me. It was getting busier and harder for me to work with the vet and still answer the phone, collect money, and do all the receptionist stuff. When she first started working she seemed pretty normal. She was smart, articulate and on the ball. It was a pleasure to work with her. She was into cats the way I am into dogs. It just made working there even nicer. I'm not sure when it started to happen. The first signs went unnoticed. She started taking care of feral cats at a state prison not to far from here. I didn't give it much thought, a lot of cat lovers feed feral cat colonies and trap, neuter and release them once trust is established so there isn't so many homeless cats. Then she started talking about this inmate she met. The next thing I know she throws her husband out and divorces him. Jeez, you never know what's going on in someones marriage but that really seemed to come out of the blue. More and more I hear about this inmate, oh man gross me out she's falling in love with this attempted cop killing freak. I listen to her stories of how sad it is for the prisoners, blah blah blah, give me a fucking break, this is a state penitentiary, these guys didn't get caught with a little weed or write some bad checks these are the scum of society, big time thieves, murderers, rapists and all kind of human dreg. One night I come in and shes crying because her freak got denied parole, again. Around this time she's diagnosed with some rare liver disease. Then she gets fired from her full time job. She loses her health insurance. She starts getting paranoid that everyone is out to get her. The vet is contemplating firing her because she's getting so odd, but she still does her job and now that they cut her hours back to one night a week it's hard to find someone willing to work just one night a week for minimum wage who's willing to clean up dog pee in the waiting room. Plus I think the vet is just a softy and feels sorry for her. She's also becoming a germaphobe. At first I understood. After all she does suffer from the liver problem and the last thing she needs is to get sick. I don't make a habit of going to work if I have a cold or am sick because the vet doesn't need to get sick either. Up until recently it was a one vet office, if she's sick there's no one to take her place. Now the Germaphobe is getting worse, if I sneeze she freaks out on me. Jeepers it was just a snoot full of cat hair, chill out.

Two weeks ago I wasn't feeling well. I was coughing and my chest hurt. Every year I get bronchitis, so I figure here we go again. It wasn't bad and bronchitis isn't contagious so off to work I go. I know the coughing is going to send the germaphobe into a hand washing frenzy so I stay out of the office area and stick to the exam rooms and surgery areas. I saw her once from about five feet away. The color drained from her face and she yelled at me to stay away. She doesn't believe that some things are just not contagious. Yes, the original cold I had was but that's long gone, I'm just left with this miserable cough.

But it figures that I would get sick, really sick. Oh, I had broncitis all right but it was deep and it was bad. While my immune system was busy fighting that Baseball Boy shares a really nasty cold with me. Gotta love those walking, talking petri dishes. I'm down for the count. High fever, can't complete a sentence I'm so short of breath. Coughing so hard my whole body aches. I have to sleep in a chair because I can't lay flat. Didn't move out of that chair for almost a week. The Engineer and the kids are totally holding down the fort without me. Obviously, I don't go to work at the squad or the vet's.

So tonight I'm back to work at the vet's office. I'm still coughing and a little tired but other than that I'm feeling pretty good. The vet is happy to see me. I was worried she might have gotten sick since we work so closely together but she assures me she has been fine. As soon as the Germaphobe says hi I knew I was in for it. Her voice is hoarse and I hear her cough. Oh, sorry gotta get back to the exam rooms, got a full house.

We had a busy night and I avoided her all night long. She's in the back doing some filing and I'm sitting up front finishing up some paperwork. She comes out and immediately lays it on. First she starts describing all these medical maladies she has, half of which I've never heard of. Then she goes on to tell me how she just can't get sick because she lives alone, and doesn't have medical insurance and she has 21 cats to take care of and she lives alone, and doesn't have medical insurance and has 21 cats to take care of and no one to help her. No, I didn't repeat myself, she did. And that she can die from coughing from one of these medical maladies she has and that I made her sick and she doesn't have the luxury of going to the doctor or hospital since she lives alone, doesn't have medical insurance, has 21 cats, no one to help her, and oh yea did I mention I had a colonoscopy scheduled that I had to cancel and now I have to redo the bloodwork and if I die they will put my 21 cats to sleep because no one will take care of them. Then she gets even more pissed as she tells me how inconsiderate I am coming to work sick before since she has no one to take care of her like I do. Blah, blah, blah.

Sidebar: Did I mention that the freak eventually got parolled, she married him, he stole all her money and dumped her? She's alone because she divorced her perfectly nice, if not a little boring, husband for this scum bag. All her friends tried to warn her about him but she wouldn't listen. Then when he dumped her she got mad at everyone because no one was surprised that he did this. That's why she's alone. It makes it hard for me to feel sorry for her.

She said it was bad enough I tried to kill her but to put the lives of her 21 cats in jeopardy, she just couldn't believe I would do such a thing. She also wanted me to know she would die, alone, in her home because of me.

I mentioned to her that she spends her entire night working here dealing with people coming in and handling money and that I didn't touch anything in the office that night and didn't come within five feet of her. That just pissed her off more. Can't wait to see what she's like next week.

Oh, and just for fun I asked her if she was too sick to work last week. She said she felt horrible and was terribly sick but she came in to work anyway. Guess she doesn't worry about getting the vet or the vet tech that worked for me sick as much as she worries about someone getting her sick. Bitch. Oh, and I should mention, she's does have health insurance. It's just not the awesome health insurance she had when she was married to the nice guy.